DO NOT READ. (please read.)
NAVIGATIONMISHA SAYS:"WOOF." — Misha, on many occasions DIARY STATSENTRIES: 5 SECRETS: MANY TREATS CONSUMED: INSUFFICIENT SQUIRRELS CAUGHT: 0 (they are fast) |
ENTRY — 2026-04-22Today I went for a walk. There was a smell. It was the best smell I have ever smelled. I thought about this smell for the rest of the day. It was a complex smell. Layered. I gave it four paws up. Later: dinner. It was the same food as always but this time I ate it with more enthusiasm to signal appreciation. Mommy said "good boy." Correct assessment. Rating for today: 10/10. Would recommend. ENTRY — 2026-04-20Mommy gave me a treat shaped like a bone. But it was FOOD shaped like a BONE. I had to sit down. I had to think about this. A bone is a bone but also sometimes a bone is a snack. My entire worldview has shifted. I have been sitting with this knowledge all afternoon. Everything I thought I knew about bones is now in question. Tomorrow I will investigate further by eating another one immediately. ENTRY — 2026-04-18Saw the vacuum cleaner. Said no. Stood my ground. It moved first. I win. This has been the greatest victory of my life so far. I am not being dramatic. I barked at it until it stopped. Cause and effect. Science. Final score: Misha 1, Vacuum 0. ENTRY — 2026-04-15Someone rang the doorbell. I alerted everyone within a 3-kilometre radius. This is my job. This is what I do. Some might say the alert was disproportionate to the threat level. Those people have never considered what might be on the other side of a door. It was a package. For mommy. I sniffed it comprehensively and filed a full report. The report was: woof. It went over well. ENTRY — 2026-04-10Attempted to fit entirely into a sunbeam on the floor. Partially successful. My front half was warm. My back half was in shadow. This is not a metaphor. This is a practical problem I face regularly. Will try again tomorrow with better planning and a longer sunbeam if available. I have submitted a formal request to the universe for a bigger patch of sunshine. Awaiting response. ★ END OF DIARY ★ (for now) ★ |